So Chris is a friend of mine that I met at the first UNC cup (Colorado’s first interstate tournament, if I recall correctly). He played for the Denver Dementors who were/are one of my favorite teams. He was a nice guy and a trading card fanatic, so I took an early liking to him. He’s a very passionate person and I consider him my friend up to this day. But while I was gone on my mission, Chris’s life has seen extreme ups and downs and this is where things start to get shady. I’m not defending Chris or anything he has done because this is something that I do not know from personal experience. I wasn’t there when things happened. I haven’t heard all the sides of the stories, and I don‘t care to. But a few days ago, Chris reached out to me for help. He told me his side of the story of the day that he says has now turned his life into a living hell. Some of you know what experience I’m talking about, but for those of you who don’t: the story is not mine to tell. My hope is that Chris will someday recover and feel like a good person again--because if there’s one thing I learned while I was on my mission, it’s that forgiveness and repentance are real. They can be two of the hardest concepts for people to grasp and apply, but they’re two of the strongest, most important concepts that can change lives. It is my personal belief that Chris can be forgiven for anything he has done in his life, just like the rest of us.
I don’t want to disclose anything that Chris has told me in confidence. But I don’t think it’s a secret to anyone who knows him that he’s having a very tough time in his life, and has been for years. His self esteem was shot and his life lost a lot of meaning when he lost quidditch in his life. Quidditch has always been a magical sport and it’s changed a lot of lives, just like it did Chris’s. But unfortunately, that can all change in the blink of an eye. And as is apparent, the quidditch community can hurt just as much as it can help.
I’m not going to tell anyone that they have to forgive or ignore Chris’s mistakes he’s made in the past. You don’t have to pretend like nothing ever happened and that Chris is a perfect person. But what I see of Chris now is just an empty shell of the person I used to know. I think Chris has suffered more than enough in his life, and if I had the power to make Chris be happy again, I’d do it. If there was a way to pay for your mistakes through remorse, then I’d venture to say that Chris would have paid for his several times over.
Most importantly, Chris has not directly harmed me in any way in this life and I’m personally not going to judge him as a person and his character and his entire life from a story I‘ve heard about a mistake he made, albeit a very serious one, one night while he was drunk. I would encourage people who feel comfortable to reach out to Chris and give him an encouraging word or two. Because Chris is a human being, and even if you think he’s a terrible one, he’s still our brother and he needs love and support in his life.
Personally, I’m going to continue to judge Chris from my own personal experiences I‘ve had with him. I don’t know him as well as I could, and I’m not going to pretend like I know him better than I do. He’s not my best friend in the world, but he is still a friend. I love Chris as a fellow human being by default, but I love him as the friend he is to me. And that’s all I can really offer to him. Chris, here’s to a better future, my friend.
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